I wasn't aware the earth produced quite that much black eyeliner.

Would you like to know how awesome my Warped Tour experience was? Just read the sign:


In case you can't read the sign, it says: "TIP! WE NEED $ FOR OVER-SIZED CONDOMS AND DRUGS!"
Yeah, that's how awesome my day was.

I went to Warped Tour with my two friends, both of whom had never been before and one of whom I was very afraid would not be able to handle it. I love her to death, but when she got into the car with big earrings, some eyeshadow, and a relatively small purse with some sort of logo on it, my only thought was, "Oh.....no." I realized that description makes her sound like some sort of priss, but she's really not. She and I are just different. But anyway... A's dad drove us, and as we walked in, A and M were already freaking out because random guys were coming up to us, saying things like, "Hey girls, not to be awkward or anything, but I'm in a band, and I was wondering if you'd like to listen to a song and tell us what you think." The guy was really nice, but I politely refused, though I'm sure many people at said Tour would have been like, "Dude... fuck off." So we walk in, and thank God I had been there before, because it is pretty overwhelming. So we checked the huge schedule and I start panicking because no one on said schedule did I see Be Your Own Pet.

Yes, I know. I was just as shocked. Only after I got home and looked on their myspace did I realize that the Warped website was woefully not up to date. While the website, which is SUPPOSED TO KEEP ME INFORMED, still said that they would be playing, but alas, BYOP's myspace had the tragic message that they would not be participating at all in Warped this year, since they were burned out from touring. :( I really wanted to see Jemina. And sing along to "Becky."

M liked this band called Automatic Loveletter, so we went to see them. They reminded me of Paramore, fronted by a girl with unique hair that millions of teens across the nation will desperately attempt to copy. The lead singer's name is Juliet, which is kind of rad. I always wished I had a unique name. AL was good, way better than they could have been. Ie, not screamy or overly ironic, any of that shit. Juliet had a strong voice, and it was fun watching guys who shouldn't have been listening to that kind of music desperately trying to grab her ankles. But Juliet's voice was definitely unique... it kind of sounded hoarse and kept cracking, and I thought, "hmmm... maybe her voice is getting tired?" But no, apparently that's her voice, because it's like that in recordings, as well. Weird.


Grrrr. Before the pictures were too big and now they are too small. Oh, woe is me.

Then after Automatic Loveletter we walked around and looked at the plethora of tents, which is one of the best parts, and M wanted to get an AM shirt, and who was standing outside the AM booth but JULIET??? She was taking pictures with whoever wanted one and now I kind of regret I didn't get one, and M didn't get one, but I'm shy about that kind of thing. It's not like I could gush about her songs, because I'd just heard them for the first time. Ahh well.

And passing by the Relient K tent, we saw a long line and I look at the front of the line, and who is standing there but Matt Thiessen, the lead singer. It was slightly surreal, just because I had a crush on him in.... I think it was sixth grade. It was just weird. I saw a lot of people that day that I've read about in magazines and everything, but seeing them is oddly anticlimatic. It's just like... "Oh look. It's [insert name here]. They look shorter in person."

We would have had a large gap in between shows, so we decided to check out Reel Big Fish. I had heard about them before but never listened to them, and they were AMAZING. Their music is ska, with trombones and trumpets being used a lot, a sort of reggae-feel to the music, and it just made me want to dance. And I am not a dancer. It takes a lot for me to want to dance. But I was bouncing and such. But there was this creepy old guy next to me--literally old, he was probably a father of a teenager there--who was really fat and sweaty and knew every single word. M was next to him but then oh-so-subtly switched places with me. My friends are always thinking of others...



Reel Big Fish know how to entertain. The lead singer kept going, "We are the Reel Big Fish-a!" And one of the trumpeters had this WWII-style bomber's hat on. Kind of sweet. Then the lead singer went, "This next song is about a girl who left me, for another girl!" The song is called "She Has A Girlfriend Now," and halfway through the song he sang, "She kissed a girl and she liked it/ the taste of her cherry chapstick/ she kissed a girl just to try it/ and her boyfriend...oh, he minded/" The giddy crowd started cheering like crazy. Then they played one of their songs in different musical styles, including country, disco, death metal. It was great.

Then we looked at more tents (I tell you, the tents are one of the best parts. There's all sorts of band merch and awesomeness. My friend A told me several times throughout the day how much she loves the word, "merch.")

We decided next to see The Academy Is..., which is a band that tends to attract a lot of chubby girls who should NOT be wearing Medium American Apparel band tees, but insist on doing so, much to the chagrin of those around them, not to mention the world in general. Mean? Yes. True? Also yes. I only know two of their songs, "Slow Down," and "We've Got a Big Mess On Our Hands." The lead singer, William Beckett, is your typical emaciated emo-frontman. Seriously, man, eat a fucking burger.



Wait, I bet he's vegan. They all are. A.... tofuburger? A hell of a lot of lettuce?
And throughout the show, my friends and I were all trying to decide whether he is gay or quite possibly the most effeminate heterosexual I have ever encountered. I couldn't even pay attention to the music, I was staring in dumbstruck wonder at the complete lack of body fat on that frame. And he kept popping his hug out. Weird. But he does know how to put on a show, Beckett jumps up and down a lot and swings the mic and shit.




Luckily, they played both "Slow Down" and "We've Got A Big Mess On Our Hands," so I didn't have to stand their like an idiot for the WHOLE set and at least had a FEW songs to sing along to.
Oh! Oh! And it was at the The Academy Is... show (that ellipsis is REALLY. ANNOYING.) that M had her first ever encounter with a crowd surfer falling on her head! Aw, she's growing up so fast. Sniffle.


*Raises eyebrows. Looks quizically at reader.* You make your own conclusions.

By then it was 3:00, and the next show wasn't until 5, and we were really hungry, so he realized that were going to have to pay approximately eight dollars for a cracker. (If you are still reading this, I love you.) Eight dollars actually bought us a pan pizza. They had tons of pepperoni left because everyone at Warped Tour is really into not eating animals. Do I wish I could be vegetarian? Yes. But I just love chicken....

So then we.... wait for it... walked around some more, and preceded in buying a ridiculous amount of pins. Buttons. Whatever you call them. I procured at least ten, probably more, on Warped Tour alone. I took pictures of them, I'll post them later. We basically walked around every stand, looking for buttons of any kind--free buttons, band buttons... Then I found the Vegan/Vegetarian stand that I remembered from last year and, while they are constantly asking you if you've gotten your free vegetarian starter kit, the stand had TONS of bumper stickers and PINS GALORE. The bumper stickers are all hippie liberal stuff, which I love so I bought three: a peace sign, a "Free Tibet" one, and a "Hugs Not Drugs" one. But I'm boring you. Oh! Obama had a stand! I wanted a pin, but since it was a campaign I had to sign up, so I did. My writing really sucks right now, I'm sorry. But I got my pin!

The people who work at the stands in Warped can be kind of weird. They're all very outgoing and happy. Who DOES that? Kidding. Ish.

Part of the fun of Warped Tour is watching people, watching people try SO hard to rebel and be original. I mean, it was freaking hot. I'm not going to wear skinny jeans, or black pants and a jacket, just so I look "cool." I was wearing some random shorts and a ratty old t-shirt, I didn't try to pretend that I was so different from everyone else. I realize I sound self-righteous, but it's odd when "rebelling" becomes so cliche that it no longer is rebelling.

The next show was Say Anything, which I was most excited for, since I absolutely adore their music, and Max Bemis is as fucking badass as they come. The lyrics are so honest, sarcastic and just great. For your own good, listen to "Admit It!!!"

We got there early, quite luckily, dare I say, because as the show started and I looked behind me, the crowd went back ridiculously far. I can't lie, seeing Max Bemis up close was really, really amazing. If you've ever been to a concert, who know what's it like to hear those opening chords, or drum beat, or anything, and just flip out because you know that you LOVE that song. So when I heard the opening to "Alive With the Glory of Love," I screamed kind of loud. My friends looked at me kind of oddly. But whatever. So of course I sang every word. Max and the gang then proceeded to play "Woe." Then I heard the opening to "Every Man Has A Molly," and Max called out, "Who has our album Is A Boy?" Many hands then shot up in the air, perhaps hoping to receive some sort of trophy or gold star. Max: "This is a song from that album, it's a true story, it's called 'Every Man Has A Molly.'"



(it's really annoying how pictures make things look farther away than they really were. I swear I was closer.)

Then we heard the phone ring that starts off "Wow, I Can Sexual Too," and the crowd basically went apeshit. Then they played "Shiksa," but beforehand Max said this (I can't believe I remember it so well): "Are there any Jewish boys out there? *Random cheers* There's not too many of us left, is there? How many of you have ever dated a Christian girl? Yeah, how'd your parents react to that? Not too well, huh? Well I wrote a song about it. This song is for all you girls who have to deal with those parents. It's called 'Shiksa'."

They also sang "Woe," and we had to leave five minutes early to get a good seat for Katy Perry, but as we were leaving, we heard the last song, "Belt."
Seeing Max Bemis is person was also weird. The sarcastic, honest lyrics that come from the man's brain..... and all he's been through and done in his life, his DIEHARD fans. It was... surreal.


Ugh, I've been writing this post for a week and I'm getting tired of it. I don't have a very good attention span.

OH! This is good. In the crowd at Say Anything I took this picture of my friend, and I wouldn't have put it up here but I wanted to show you the emo girl in it because I thought it was funny.



I didn't even know she was there, I just took the picture and later I looked at it and realized how hilarious it was. Girl: "Who is this person wearing...bright... colors? Where is her eyeliner? Black hair? Bangs? I don't understand.... Ew."

Oh, the retarded black is my attempt at covering up my friend's identity. But you can see my reflection in her glasses. Oooo, mystery.

Then we went to see Katy Perry, very popular, obviously. She came out with a parasol, definitely more theatrical than any of the other bands. She knows how to work a stage though; pretending to rub up against the security guard, jumping off the drum platform. She sang "Hot N Cold," which was great. Singing "Ur So Gay," at the end, she said, "And the choir SINGS, one two three..." and the crowd cries "PENIS!" Katy: "For those of you in the back, that was 'Penis!'" She saved "I Kissed A Girl" for last of course, pulling a phone on stage and saying, "Hi Mom! How are you, I'm doing a show.... wait. What did you hear? I KISSED A GIRL???" Cue apeshit crowd. Blah... it was good, I'm sure somewhere in the crowd some lesbian action was occurring.





We had to miss the first 15 minutes of Relient K because of overlapping Katy Perry, so I was bummed. I distinctly remember loving Relient K around sixth grade, pretty hardcore, in fact. Not RElient K. They are certainly not hardcore. I meant I loved them hardcore. Hardcorely? Ehhh. We got there twenty minutes into their set, and I'd missed "Be My Escape." :( That was my little sixth grade-self's favorite. Then Matt Thiessen, the lead singer said, "How many of you watch NBC's 'The Office'?" I started screaming and waving my hand around like a moron, because the heat and loud music can do that to a person. Then he said, "We wrote a little song about it." I recorded it, and I really want to put it up here, but I need to set up a youtube account, so I'll do that later. But it was seriously one of the highlights of my day, I don't know why. Here's the lyrics,

Michael Scott
Pan and Jim
You've got me glued to my television.
And Angela, you're way too cute
to be messin around with someone like Dwight Schrute.
Relient K and the Football Hall of Fame are from Canton
I wish someone would just transfer us...to Scranton




He then proceeded to say, "That's in Pennsylvania, right?" which caused me to shout, since my poor old home state gets little recognition. Then they played the theme, and I was happy and smiling and it was just great.




They played "Who I Am Hates Who I've Been" and some other song that I am sorry to say I don't remember, but that's all we saw.

We wanted to see All Time Low, but they were at 8:00, which is slightly ridiculous, and by then it was only 6:30, and our ride didn't want to have to wait, which was understandable.

After Relient K we tried to run to stands to buy some final things, but the annoying thing about Warped Tour is that after six o clock they start taking things down/ selling out of things because they have to be somewhere else by the next day. M tried to run to the Katy Perry stand but it was being taken down, and I wanted Say Anything buttons, which they HAD BEFORE BUT WERE NOW SOLD OUT OF. The annoying thing is that I know they HAVE them somewhere, I'm sure there was a big box of buttons in the bus, but they just don't come prepared. Incompetence. Kidding.

On the way out, I was walking by the Reel Big Fish stand, and I was like, "Whoa! It's the lead singer!" So, the wimp that I am, instead of actually getting in line to MEET him, I sneaked up to the side and took a picture.




So then, sadly, we had to leave, but first we had one last mission to fulfill. My friend's sister, who was in the car when we were dropped off, thought it would be hilarious to rip out posters of the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus from some magazine she had, and we would have to hand them out to kids at Warped, telling them to support the Jonas Brothers, and if they left now, they could still make the Jo Bros' show, 7 o clock at Hershey! Well, my friends and I can be pansies sometimes, so we left the posters on the ground instead of handing them out.


I bought WAY too much for my own good and now owe my mom sixty dollars. I took pictures of everything I bought, I'll post them some time later this week, maybe. Posting is going to be scarce, I have band camp eight hours a day for the next two weeks, and school starts this month (we start really early in Pennsylvania), so I am currently panicking at all I have yet to accomplish. Boooooo.

GO TO WARPED TOUR! It's always so much fun I feel guilty.

Peace!
a.